Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Movies I Saw, Part One (Or, Why Isn't Riffel Seeing All These Movies)

The final count this year is 139 movies seen (so far), and I must say I'm a much better person for it. Sure, I should probably get out more and learn to love again but then who will watch BOB THE BUTLER?!?!? WHO

The ratings are on a fifty-five star system, in base-8.

Spinal Tap (****)

Ghost Busters 2 (*)

Starship Troopers (*1/2)--Needed more strippin'.

Mr. Jealousy (***)

American Hustle (***)

Rebel Without A Cause (**)

Valentine's Day (*)

The Room (*******************1/2)

Certified Copy (***)

Rocket Science (**1/2)--Not the first time I've had to look up what I'd seen. Ah, yes, forgettable.

Computer Chess (***1/2)--Geeks unite!!

Lovelace (**1/2)--Pornstars disunite!!

Oblivion (*1/2)

Dirty Dingus Magee (*)--Frank Sinatra's GREATEST movie. And Elvis isn't bad in it, either.

Leolex (?)--The question mark is for why?

The Swimmer (**1/2)

Jaws 3 (Me Zero)

World War Z (Zzzzzz)

Her (**1/2)--Jason Bateman: "Her?"

Homeless in America (*1/2)--Tommy Wiseau needs to stick to incoherence.

Retro Puppet Master (*)--I don't know, man, people are very strange these days.

The Internship (*1/2)--Google a better script (see what I did)

Shock Corridor (**1/2)

Room 237 (***)--The truth is finally out about Jack Nicholson's hairline.

Convoy (**)

We're the Millers (*1/2)

Knight & Day (**)--I love Tom Cruise!!

Freaky Deaky (**)--I hate Christian Slater!!

Ballad of Narayama (***)

In a World (**1/2)

S.O.B. (**)

Re-Cycle (*1/2)

Grand Budapest Hotel (**1/2)

Dallas Buyer's Club (***)

Nebraska (**1/2)

The White Ribbon (***)

Paths of Glory (***1/2)

Bright Lights, Big City (*)--Jay McInerney is turning in his grave, with Jesus.

Viva Rock Vegas (*)--If only I'd been stoned watching it get it

The Happening (*)--Just another Marky Mark war crime.

The Killing (***)

Oculus (**)

Visitor Q (***)--And the best rape scene while the woman is covered in feces goes to...... (spoiler alert)

Bob the Butler (*)

And so we come full circle. It's like life, only with better gaffing.

Next Week: More of this crap.

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