Tuesday, July 15, 2014

All About Bob The Butler

Wow, how did I get through this godawful movie? The things I do for you people. That's right, people, I called you you people!!

BOB THE BUTLER is about Tom Green being family-friendly in a way that only Tom Green can be: creeeeepy. And desperately unfunny. Let's see how the action unfolds...

Green gets hired as a butler and then goes to the store to finger the local greens.

"HA, this one smells like Drew Barrymore!"

He does all this to impress the local hottie.

And her even hotter brother.

Meanwhile he starts a reluctant romance with the local tranny. It all becomes like "Who's The Boss?" but without the semiotic structuralism and complex eroticism of Tony Danza.

"MY GOD I have breasts. I'm going to kill that Trinidad doc...!"

Green teaches the snooty rich kids that it's okay to like your money. He takes them to Occupy Wall Street and they are brutally beaten, and then treed. Everyone wins.

"Hey, I can see fiduciary malfeasance from up here! *hurrah!*"

In the end, having taught the family to love again, Green pulls a Peter Sellers and walks across water--except on the edge of a building, where he plunges to his hilarious death.

"Hey, at least I'm not Yahoo Serious! Ernest, on the other hand..."

To everyone's relief, the regular butler moves back in and everything gets back to normal.

"Okay, who wants to learn about Taft? TAFT"

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