No, and that's because no movie has started with the screen credit: BASED ON THE SONG DISCO DUCK BY RICK DEES.
In CONVOY, Kris Kristofferson stars as a hunky rebel armed with nothing but abs and a CB radio.
"CB radios will be popular forever! Over."
He picks up a young-ish negro woman played by Ali McGraw.
"Being a terrible actress means never having to say sorry, convincingly."
Together they put down the hammer and smoke the bogey with the bear ears, copy that, red rover.
"Wait, should I tip the cabbie?"
Fomenting rebellion--because, you know, the nation looks to its truckers for political guidance--Kristofferson runs into a diarrhea-stained Ernest Borgnine.
"Breaker, breaker, havin' a big BM, copy? Over."
We learn that the seventies basically smelled like Borgnine's armpits laced with some shitty Eagles song in the background. Thank God I was stoned for most of it.
"Whatsa matter you! You no like a my pizza pie? Over."
Also, ethnic stereotypes were very funny. And the cops harassed the black man. We've come a long way, indeed. 10-4.
"You're under arrest for being a negro. Over."
By the end, the audience is cheering as Kristofferson clogs the nation's highways with meth-addled hillbillies and obese lumberjacks. This proves that SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE IN WASHINGTON, PEOPLE. I mean, what's up with those fat-cats in congress? How do I keep up with the news like this?
"What's your bogie, BJ? Got a bear boner in my butt. Now my butt is big."
This was only the beginning for Kristofferson, as he went on the road with the Eagles and single-handedly created malaise. And Ali McGraw? She won so many Oscars. So, so many.
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