Revenge Refund

Hey, kids! Here's AMY with another review that doesn't involve fancy cheese but general cheesiness... 


I binge-watched both seasons of the series REVENGE in the fall of 2013. 

(So far only the "g" has been stabbed.)

It's a newfangled soap opera and here's what Netflix says about it:

A young woman moves to the Hamptons and charms the pants off her new neighbors -- while plotting their downfall for sins committed against her family.

"…the pants off" being the key words here.

I've been told it's loosely based on THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO which prompted me to purchase the book,  put it on a shelf, and then forget about it. Sort of my own revenge against Dumas, if you will.  

To get REVENGE on people, they use this:

But wouldn't it be more efficacious to use something like this, to chew off a nutsack or two?

GAAAAHHHHHHHH

Also, all the women wear skinny belts in the Hamptons.

Skinny belts!

Skinny Belts!!

SKINNY BELTS!!!

Meanwhile, the men are constantly loosening theirs. It's nature's way, people.

"Aw hell, I told my podiatrist to SHAVE that part."

Turns out that oxygen tubes are great for providing oxygen and not mussing your gorgeousosity.

"Someone call my podiatrist! STAT!"

In the end, we learn that revenge is best served gay.

Dumas has left the teatro.