Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Freaky Deaky

I can't believe I've gone this far into 2014 without seeing a Christian Slater film. Let us RECTIFY. And then TESTIFY. And then CRAPIFY.

"Hold it right there, lone member of the audience!"

FREAKY DEAKY is based on an Elmore Leonard novel, and it is snorey borey. Wearing pinky glinky suits, Crispin Glover has a lot of money woney and people wanty cunty it.

"Who is being brushed?"

His brother is played by Andy Dick. Casting!

 "I'll say tighty, you say whitey. Tighty...!"

There's some woman who's playing both sides (said with Sean Connery's brogue, done by me).

"I'll show them. I'll record everything... I love you, Lisa!"

There's also some detective guy who doesn't play by the rules. The rules being staying awake in a scene.

"Damnit, where did they put the craft service table??"

In the end, people die and stuff. This film didn't have the decency to rip off Tarentino, because that would have required effort. Their effort matches mine in writing this. Maybe we should team up? BLOGGY WOGGY: THE MOVIE WOVIE: THE RIDE BIDEY

"My penis is weaky leaky. Ahhhh."

I can't believe I came this far into this post without doin' some Slater.




That's the stuff.

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