Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Movies I've Seen, Part Doo Wop

Sorry to make everyone wait another week for my year end list. The Nissan Sales Event is still going on too, so blow me. I mean, sue me. Or sue to blow me. WHATEVS

Children of Men (**1/2)--Humanity is awful. We must save humanity!!

Audition (***)--Funny how all the dismemberment is in Japanese.

Over the Edge (***)--Matt Dillon and Aurora, together at last

Blue Ruin (***)

Burden of Dreams (***)

The Shining (***)--Do you want to get sued?

The Last Samurai (**)--Tom Cruise does not get dismembered in Japanese, such are the injust vagaries of this world.

Heaven Can Wait (***)

Hearts of Darkness (***)

Leprechaun in Da Hood (*)--"Da" is always a sign of quality.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (*)--GARBAGE DAY!!!!

Resurrect Dead (***)--The dead will reincarnate on Jupiter, according to Kubrick and other clear, simple ideas.

The Best Offer (**)

Ender's Game (*1/2)

Fitzcarraldo (***)

Kill Your Darlings (**1/2)

V/H/S (**1/2)--Still waiting for 8 Track, the Movie

X-Men (*1/2)

V/H/S 2 (**1/2)--Still waiting.....

Kids (**1/2)

My Best Fiend (***)

Land of Lost (*1/2)

Inside Llewyn Davis (**1/2)

Blue is the Warmest Color (**)--I never thought I'd complain about a movie having too much lesbian sex.

Wolf of Wall Street (**1/2)

Moneyball (**1/2)

After Hours (***1/2)--Not enough talking to his penis, though

King Kong (*1/2)

Space Odyssey (***1/2)

The Purge (*1/2)--I say we put The Purge in a room with Before Midnight and, you know, see what happens.

Viaggio in Italy (***)

Nosferatu (***)

Pervert's Guide to Ideology (***)--ZIZEK RULEZ!!!

If... (***)

The Canyons (**)

Grizzly Man (***)--More like Gristly Man...? because of the bear eating him... and stuff....

Into the Abyss (***)--These young men failed the cupcake test.

La Ronde (***)

Freddy Got Fingered (**1/2)--You want to see this again, Andy?

Escape From Tomorrow (*1/2)--Disneyland, Disneyland! (better title...)

Stromboli (***)

Salo (***)--Gives old meaning to shit-eating grin.

Europa '51 (***)

No Strings Attached (*)

Mistaken for Strangers (**1/2)

The Great Beauty (***)

.....Oh dear God, this will need a third part. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?

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