Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Land Of Lost Does Not Equal LOL

Today's Movie Minute is the very necessary LAND OF THE LOST.

I mean, who hasn't watched the original and thought, Man! I sure wish they'd make this into a big Hollywood movie! Well, put down the doob, my friend, because.... ah, er.... what were we talking about again?

"The first to terrible seventies hair wins! Sorry, Sleezie..."

Will Ferrell plays a man who's lost a bet and finds himself under contract to play the guy who has, uh, stuff happen to... uh, him. *Ffffuuuufff* Man, this is a sticky blend....

"Don't make me blow the roof off here with my bootleg GWAR, brochachos."

With his ragtag team, Ferrell encounters a little chimp boy who has escaped the original TV series where he's stashed the bodies of Sid and Marty Krofft ha ha.

"My female intuition will translate. Hmm. He's saying
he wants... anal... sex... Good Cha-Ka!"

Turns out the land of the lost is a place where narrative logic does not apply. Therefore, anything can happen--and yet there's no sign of Dustin Diamond! Explain that to your congressman.

 "You blew it up. Damn you all to hellllll!!...."

Thankfully we have the comedy stylings of Will Ferrell?

 "I'm flailing! FLAILING!!... (Okay, that's a wrap.
Tell my paycheck to meet me back at my trailer.)"

By the end, my expression was frozen in one of abject wonder and disbelief. Even rolling up the entire state of Colorado and smoking it would not help.

 See? I told you legalization would have consequences!

But at least the dialogue was snappy. Though I have to say Michael Moore has really let himself go... He used to be so hunky before.... 

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