Friday, January 1, 2016

Movies I Saw, Seen, See Sawed

The movie count is way down this year. Does that mean I got outside more and learned to enjoy life like a normal person?


Did I at least accomplish something in my life by watching ALL of the Star War movies?


Will I ever stop asking questions and answer them myself?



The star system is based on the galactic standard measurement 5/7.

Thirst (**)

Walkabout (***)

Antichrist (****)--Clitoris slicing never felt so good!

Happy People (**1/2)

Born Into This (***)--Micky Rourke sure got ugly.

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance (**1/2)

22 Jump Street (2.2)

Hard Eight (a hard ***)

Wet Hot American Summer (***1/2)

Only Lovers Left Alive (**)

Obvious Child (**1/2)

50 Shades of Grey (1/50th *)

Old Boy (**1/2)

Andrei Rublev (***)

Snowpiercer (**)

A Trip to Italy (***)

Extremely Close to Terrible, Incredibly Bad (*)

Lost Highway (***1/2)

What We Do in the Shadows (**1/2)

Ida (**1/2)

Beeswax (**1/2)

Beyond the Black Rainbow (***1/2)

Birdman (***)

The Guest (**1/2)

25th Hour (**1/2)

The Interview (*1/2)

Ex Machina (***)

Listen Up Philip (***)

The One I Love (***)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Kitchen Counter Top (***)

While We're Young (***)

It Follows (**1/2)

Gone Girl (**)-- Ben Affleck is the bad guy. Oh, spoiler alert.

Force Majeure (***)

Night of the Hunter (***)

Mad Max: Fury Road (**)

The Double (***)

Inherent Vice (***)-- Great Thomas Pynchon cameo in this. Spotted it right away!

Naked Lunch (***1/2)

Maps to the Stars (**1/2)

Jurassic World (**)

Heaven's Gate (**1/2)

Goodbye to Language (**1/2)

Big Eyes (**)

Amarcord (***)

Babadook (**)

Flash Gordon (**)

Sharknado 3 (*)--I watched the Google images of it, does that count?

Terminator Genysis (**)

Jodorowsky's Dune (***)

The Decameron (***)

Tusk (**)-- Man becomes walrus: The Craig Stadler Story

Top Five (Bottom **)

Blue (**1/2)

Project X (*)

Cobra Verde (***)

White (***)

Red (***1/2)

Synedoche (***1/2)

End of the Tour (**1/2)-- I kinda wanted to kill myself. That means it was... good?

Fight Club (***)

2046 (**1/2)

Like Someone in Love (***)

Sleeping Beauty (**)

Pineapple Express (*1/2)

Scenes From a Marriage (***)

Jules et Jim (***)

Decline of Western Civ (***)

Decline of Western Civ II (***)

Decline of Western Civ III (**1/2)

Godfather (****)

Godfather II (****)

Godfather III (**1/2) Horrible

The Final Girls (**1/2)

Girl Walks Home Alone At Night (**)

Inland Empire (***1/2)

The Long Goodbye (**1/2)

The Thing (**)

Magician: Orson Welles (**1/2)

Happiness of the Katakuris (***)

Mulholland Drive (***************)

The Trial (***1/2)

Return of the Jedi (**1/2)

Dark City (**1/2)

I Am Chris Farley (***) --His grave is in a van down by the river ha ha.

Attack of the Clones (*) --Why?

Empire Strikes Back (***) --Why??

The Phantom Menace (*) --WHY

Revenge of the Sith (*1/2) --OH GOD OH GOD WHY OH WHY

GREAT!!!! Here's hoping I see nothing next year!!

*looks up Force Awakens times*

What is wrong with me?

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