Tuesday, January 5, 2016

A Nude Hope

Ah, the first Star War. Here's where it all began. And where did it end? Why, GALAXY REVOLT. So let us give thanks to George Lucas and his mating call.


The best part of this movie, I think we can all agree, is when a robot plays a monster in tentacle chess. It's really great! Though I can't help thinking Chewie's Sicilian Defense needs work.

"Oh, look, Master Luke, the wookiee is spuriously attempting to complicate!"

The movie kicks off when all the guys gather around a robot to watch a porno. Times sure have changed! Or.... have they?

"Okay, this is where John Holmes comes in. He plays Long Dong Darth..."

The bad guy is played by a black robot who wants his white robots to rule over the other robots. I think this was Dr King's dream?

"Run down this corridor, see, and then we'll shoot you. Got it?"

A ragtag team gets together and starts telemarketing like crazy!

"Take ten days to examine the book, you dick!"

Their boss is kinda mean. He doesn't have any lips and he blames the lipped for his sadness.

"Mmmmg... can't... form... word... ss..."

Before long, the boys get tired of their pornos and decide they want the real thing--space battles!

"Golden Corral, this is Porkins One. I'm about to make a crash landing!!"

The lads target womp rats and, boy, do they have jolly good fun!

"Get this, a droid takes a shit, see, and then... 
Wait. Aw hell, I forgot the rest."

There's a big celebration as the good guys win, and even the robots get to have their fun!!

"I promise I won't tell the mainframe. Beep. Woop."

Next Week: Great anger. GREAT ANGER. 

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