G-Ga-G-Galaxy-y Re-re-re-volt-t?

In the previous breathless installment of GALAXY REVOLT, we learned about a creature that was just about nine that wasn't so miserable. This is a surprising fact since everyone is crushed under a very non-metaphoric weight of misery in this novel--which, as we all know, is the hallmark of great literature. Also a hallmark: whole families that, maybe, get crushed by tremoring ceilings.

"...people that admired him, and these creatures were: Arkly, his grandfather; Manshune, his Mother; and Krranuas his dearly beloved Father." (1-4)

Our dramatic personae, if you will, and you won't. "Arkly"? What the fuck. Was I gargling Cinnamon Toast Crunch when I came up with this name?? But you have to like the extra 'r' in Krranuas. People are always messsing that up at parties. "It's Krranuas, get it right, asshole!" That's the only time he's not dearly beloved. More just a dick.


"This is the reason he is very happy, he has a full afledged family." (5-7)

Okay, I send this out to my readers to help me. What in God's name is afledged? It's full, at least. And how is "he," the as yet unnamed nine-year-old, so very happy? Seems like I'm all over the map here.


"This joyful creature's name was Sho-grine." (8-9)

Sho-grine. Let the name echo in the hills, whisper in the trees. Sho-grine....


"Sho-grine lived down in the deepest caverns, which were the most protective agaist valcanoes, because the lava had to get stuck in some other creatures cave." (9-12)

Definitely sounds like something to be joyful about. "Well, here we are in this extremely deep cave an' shit, but at least the lava won't get us down here where we can't breathe or see any sunlight. Who wants to party? Arkly? You up for some Twister? What about you, Krrrranuas?"


"The lava kept drying, and some of the caverns got completely plugged up, with some creatures plastered inside, plastered in that position, that'll hold them for eternity." (13-16)

Oh, I get it. Sho-grine is some sort of avant-garde conceptual multi-media artist. He sees some creatures get plastered and he makes sure they stay that way in his gallery. Yep, that'll hold them! Now, the people from Art Forum should be here at any moment. What was that, Arkly? Fuck you. I know what I'm doing! Don't make me plaster you in a position! For eternity!


"But, this thought didn't linger in the minds of the creatures, alive." (17)

Good. No need to spoil a second helping of waffles by thinking about all the creatures plastered in the dining room walls. Or linger in our minds about how their final cries of anguish and screams of children are frozen for eternity in the plaster ha ha... Who has room for more flapjacks?


"Neither Sho-grine, since he wanted something else on his mind, 'M-mom-m, ma-m-may I-I g-go-g...'" (18-19)

I don't think I understood how stuttering worked.


Tune in next week when we learn wh-what-t ha-ha-hap-pp-puh-pp fuck it.