Accept God, and Jesus

Mom led me to her kitchen.

"This is where I fell. I don't know how it happened, but suddenly I was on my butt--and I couldn't get up."

"Mom, the I've fallen and I can't get up routine went out with Joe Piscopo." I handed her an old bag of groceries. "Here's more ginger ale."

Her stomach had been upset, and she was downing glass after glass of ginger ale. Mom poured herself a tall frosty glass and proceeded to guzzle.

"Oh (burp) thank you! It really helps me. Anyway, I... (burrp)... pardon me, anyway I didn't want to, but finally I (burp!) got your brother on the phone. He came over and he was (burp) very rough with me. He got the cane and yelled 1 2 3 and pulled and yanked so hard he about pulled my arm out of my shoulders! Then we got (bellllch, oh sorry!) we got some boxes to(burp)gether and my walker and made a pulley system with a fulcrum made of cat food tins, but still (burrp burp, oh!) still it didn't work. That's when we had to (burp!) call 911 and it was soo embarrassing! They (burp) all (burp) came (burp) trooping in, about five of them, and they took my blood pressure and asked me all sorts of questions, but I told them I was fine! I just needed help getting up! Burp."

"I don't know if you were fine, Mom. If firemen have to get you up..."

"Speaking of not being well, I found some old boxes in the basement and some things you wrote when you were a boy. Maybe I should have gotten you help back then."

Mom handed me twelve sheets torn from a Big Chief tablet. I gasped. It was a proto-GALAXY REVOLT, before I wrote the novel I'd glued together weeks or months later. So good news to all those GALAXY REVOLT fans out there! Hey, who let in all these crickets??

(Cue John Williams triumphant space music!!)

In a revolting galaxy, far far away......

Now, let's read each delicious line together, shall we?

SHALL WE


"When the heavens were lighted, ominously" (1)

An appropriately Biblical beginning to our saga. And remember: always start with a visual. An ominous one.


"Except no one was there to witness the spectacle, accept God." (5-7)

Except Jesus as your savior, accept God.


"So; he made thoasands of races to share his pleasure." (8-9)

At; age 12 I thought it was a great idea to wade into racial theories and ideas. No surprise, since I'd be heartily waving a Confederate flag a few years hence.


"He made no evil races..." (10)

Okay, maybe I wasn't such a bad guy, after all?


"...though this is not the way it turned out." (11-12)

Uh-oh.


"Two races came forth, in the same star sector, surprisinly enough." (20-22)

How surprisin was it when God had made thoasands of races? I'm confused here. Maybe this is supposed to be farce, a technique I'm unfamiliar with?


"The two races were almost right next to each other when the orbits came closest." (25-28)

Wait, are they almost right next to each other? Or closest? But at least we're getting the crucial information about these races--what neighborhoods they live in.


"It was like Earth and Mars, except much closer." (28-29)

That's good, so when the inevitable horror and atrocity of a race war breaks out everyone will be closest at hand ha ha. (I guess I am a bad person.)


"One of the races were human, living very primitave..." (30-31)

This was before they excepted Jesus, etc.


To be continued on the following pages, and on following blog posts! Get ready to share my pleasure!