Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Raprechaun Coming Through, Don't Get Rapred!

Today's Movie Minute is about something very scary. Is it about the Federal Reserve raising interest rates? NO. Is it about 'splosions in the Middle East? NO. Is it about Jennifer Aniston's acting career? NO. Well, kinda.

Here we have Aniston making her O face. As in, O I've ruined my career.

Aniston meets a dreamy dude who paints houses in patriotic colors because he loves freedom. The freedom to feather hair. And to be a hunk.

"Let's be more than friends. GET IT"

It turns out the house is haunted by boredom. I mean, a leprechaun. Ehn, same thing.

"These clover-shaped jumper cables are delicious!"

It's all very scary. I mean, what's more terrifying than a tiny fellow with tiny buckles on his tiny shoes and a tiny hat? He'll scratch your shins! 

Leprechauns, we learn, don't like it when you steal their gold. They are not believers in fiat currency, in fact, which is all part of their diabolic evil. This whole movie is a profound allegory for the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933 that regulates commercial banking activity. And Aniston's titties.

"Stand clear! I got me a cutie to shoot in the face! (Ross)"

But leprechauns have spooky powers. They control the telecom industry. And they know how to throw down a phat rhyme (movie blissfully free of rappin').

His tiny hand is so tiny scary!

In the end, the uptight white folk make the sexual deviant eat a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"Gaaaaahhhhh! I mean, begorrah!"

The lucky clovers and pink hearts melt his face off ha ha. Remember, kids: stick to Boo Berry!

Michael Jackson, everyone!

No comments:

Post a Comment