Friday, February 8, 2013

Friday Blow Job

In the spirit of Bill O'Reilly, here is THE JOHNSON FOLLIES' Tip of the Day: Never overdo it with a hair dryer. Don't. Fucking. Ever.


Ol' 49 is at it again, folks. And what is he at, exactly? Blow drying his hair while sitting at the dinner table. At first he takes inordinate pleasure from the hot air running through his drippy, stringy hair. But then tragedy strikes: Captain Hair Dryer Tragedy. Rather than sensibly putting down the dryer (that apparently runs on battery or demon power), he runs around like a spaz in the back yard (?) for all the world to see. Yeah, ol' 49. He didn't score particularly high on his Wonderlic either.

But you might ask: why a "joke" about a hair dryer? Good question, loquacious interlocutor. I have never used a hair dryer in all my life. So what possessed me to write a "gag" about one? I must have seen Mom using one and thought: "Hey, comedy." I wish I had a better theory. Either that, or I tried to get all American Pie on the hair dryer one lonely day and the embarrassing memory has been expunged.

Next week: A toaster rapes a raccoon.

2 comments:

  1. I had no idea you were such a Dennis Smith fan.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was actually more of a Tony Richardson man.

    ReplyDelete