Monday, February 11, 2013

Blow Me To Pieces

In today's GALAXY REVOLT we get more Soviet-era comedy, courtesy of Yakov Smirbot.

"What a planet! In my Soviet federation of confederated republics of socialist moon nations, we have morges. But on this planet, we have freedom! Etc!"

I wish I understood what was going on in all of this. "Why would they attack your moon since it is not in this galaxy?" Your moon... not in this galaxy... A different moon... galaxy...? *Rubs forehead violently* Nope. I have no idea what I was getting at. Maybe I was ahead of my time, and this one?

Lastly, a helpful writing tip:

Need to jazz up your novel or your screenplay? Well, neophyte, have you tried exclamation points?!?!? That's right! The exclamation point! grabs the weary, bored reader by the carnation and says HEY FUCKER read this NOW!!!!! OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, to make your narrative as breathless as possible, use the "and" clause promiscuously:

"He went to the bathroom and he dropped a deuce and flushed the toilet and he came back and he sat at his computer and he scratched his balls and refreshed himself and smiled."

If that's not writing, I don't know what is.

Exclamation point.

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