Duo Braxilia Perdido Caipirinhaha

And now for part two of my Brazilian adventure wherein I fill the yawning void of your gray, meaningless life with silly pictures and dumbass commentary. Right--as if you have something better to do!

Braving the winter conditions, Toots and I plunged into a favela forest. Together we sang Mozart's "Lambada, the Forbidden Aria" as the bamboo all around reverberated with our eerie harmonies...

"Ohhh jimmy crack corn--! 

*coff coff* Sorry. Needed more coloratura."

Then we took the subwayista and learned about attaching your phone to the ceiling of the train so you can like stuff on Instagramo as you travel to *leans forward* R. Itapeva MASP.

That satisfied look when you know you're

 about to get on the wrong subway. Ahhh.

We visited a giant fruit market where we picked out mangoes. And we picked out pomegranates. And we picked out kiwis and all sorts of things.

"No one must know I dropped my glasses in the toilet."

Outside they were selling glass clippings at a discount. How could we say no??

"Pairs well with avocado."

Turns out the clippings came from the rain forest god, Cthulhu. We were lucky we didn't get hit with a tentacle or whatever reference I'm trying to make pointlessly.

"Oh no, is this the one who makes jokes? BEGONE"

At the end of the day we ascended to the top of a high-class hotel and looked down on the cozy hamlet known as Sao Paulo.

"I don't think even Mom would fling herself off this..."

The next day I went solo and strolled Paulista Avenue in my search to buy some smell. It's during such times that I find myself hearing a voice in my head that says, Lose some weight, fattie. Hey, it says, you're a tub of industrial-grade fudge. And so on, it says.

While I ignore this voice as best I can, there are moments when... well, it seems to whisper to me... from somewhere.......

"Pssst. For the fatty in you."

Then I was lucky enough to run across a man who looked like Axl Rose playing "Sweet Child of Mine" on the concertina.

"Yeah, looks like."

All in all it was a fabulous trip filled with tiny receipts, befuddled interactions, and delicious street food that made it all worthwhile! Next time I might try learning more Portuguese than just "Oi" and "No bueno."

After a hard's day shelving, a hungry man 

wants to chow down on some smell!

Avocado, Chris, Cinira and Toots! (Wait, is that the right word? Hold on... *looks in dictionary* Blog reader gets bored, wanders away.) I've got it. SPASEEBA, MOY DROOGIY!!