Friday, March 3, 2017

Almost Famous

Jonah and I were at the circulation desk, discussing important matters.

Blessing came over to us. "What are you two nerds talking about?"

"We're talking about The Room," Jonah said with philosophical weightiness. "The greatest movie ever created by an extraterrestrial."

"Oh, not that again! You two should GET a room! Zing!"

Jonah stared, impassive. "I don't get it."

"Okay, now, shut up. I need you two to help me get ready for Channel Two News. They're coming for the Valentine's Day program thingy, but I want to make sure my face is out there. I want to become library famous!!"

"Library famous," I said. "I hope that's not as sad as it sounds?"

"SHUT UP! First I need a joke to read on our PA system in order to annoy all our customers and give them a good laugh as they leave."

"How about, why don't Ken and Barbie have children?"


"Because Ken comes in a different box."

"I can't do that!!" Blessing punched me. Hard. "Okay, I'm going to take my break, but when I get back I want you two nerdlingers to come up with something interesting for me to say for my television debut!"

"Can it be about The Room?" Jonah asked hopefully.

"NO!" Blessing went off, singing: "I'm gooo-ing too-oooo my breeaaaaaaah-ayyyyyy-ache, I'm go-oooing on braaaaaayyyy-ke, haatcha!"

"Does she always have to narrate her life with singing?"

Jonah shrugged. "I think Lacan would call that the Borromean knot."



When Blessing came back, Jonah and I had nothing. We had spent her entire very loong break talking about The Room.


"Sorry. But how about this picture I drew of you? Will that appease you, Your Majesty?"

Blessing scowled at herself.

"Is this really the best you can do?"

"Yes, sorry. But I did one of Jonah, too."

"Why did you make me look like Greg Sestero?"

"You need to ask?"

Blessing continued to gaze upon herself. "I'm just kidding, Greggy. I like it!"

"Hey," Todd said, coming over. "That's MY nickname for him. Back off, lady."

"Careful, he'll fart on you."

"Oh! There's the news van! It's time for me to SHINE. Shiiii-innn-eyeeyeeye-ine!..."

I turned to Jonah. "Just another fun day here at Ruby Creek, which..."

Jonah nodded sadly, and finished for me: "As we all know is part of the Duluth Public Library. Sigh."

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