I Saw Dying Cow In Concert

In this RUTGER, we feel the sweaty-palmed anxiety of our eponymous hero as he feels the love pangs in his love groin. But doesn't everybody?

But it's true: womens love to get serenaded to the max. It shows that a man is willing to humiliate himself in order to win the prize of her tender rose, etc. However, in Rutger's case, you have to question his choice of metaphor. Mountain glades are actually known for their indifference. Don't mean they don't get laid though, yo.

Nice that Rutger has access to a full Renaissance wardrobe complete with mandolin. Little known fact: he played in The Vulgar Boatmen years later!

Next Week: Serenade leads to masquerade leads to pasquinade leads to gatorade. The lewd quadrangle!