New York City--Where Literature Comes To Life!

For years I thought Tom Griffith shared some Leopold Bloomian characteristics, but I kept those reflections to myself because who wants to hear my brain garbage? But then in Manhattan as Tom and I got off the train a blind man was knocking around against a metal column. Being a hero, I kept on my way while Tom, being a hero of the actual sort, immediately turned about and asked the man if he needed help and where did he need to go. Tom took the man by the elbow and led him to the exit. Meanwhile I was blundering about the turnstiles and weeping. This, of course, is exactly what Leopold Bloom does in Ulysses--minus my weeping--as Bloom helps a blind man cross the street in Dublin. I mean, isn't that interesting? Ya? 

"I sure wish you'd shut up," Tom said, as he grabbed me by the elbow and helped me get in front of a train.

"Tha--aaa-annks!" I yelled as my ass tumbled onto the third rail haw haw.

Then Tom and I hurried to the Male Health Pavillion to get our plumbing hardware retrofitted, or so is my understanding of dick clinics.

BEFORE

AFTER

Since I'm clearly an advertising genius, I rushed to Madison Avenue but got lost along the way.

Where's Idiot?

I retraced my steps back to the Male Health clinic and saw that my penis was ready for installation.

Insert obligatory penis joke here.

Some views were taken in.

"Wull, lookie thar!"

And I was reduced to contemplating the state of this blog.

"Please don't touch the colossus. Or this thing behind me."

Then I jumped onto a bus, which I think turned out not to be the right one. Chal'oy haim dreidel ech alechoim 'ech chchh!

At least the diesel is kosher.

All in all I conquered the city. And then went home to write this post in E210 class. I hope I get a good grade!

"Stand back, ladies! One at a time, please..."

C minus minus?!?! Aw hell. Oh wait, all those sins. Never mind.