Wait, never mind. It's just gas.
Anyway, Cage plays an angry man who must avenge the death of Laura Palmer. Yeah, I'm just as confused/high as you are.
"Someone please tell Andrew Dice Clay
to stop kissing the corpses. And to get us a soda."
"Keep it below the equator, boys!"
"Can you loan me twenty bucks? I'll suck you."
I passed out halfway through this turd souffle, but I believe the bad guys tried to kill Cage with bees. Or with birds. Or the bees tried to have sex with the birds who had baby bees and the baby bees looked at me.
"No, not another Nic Cage movie. No! NOOOOO!!"
I'm still waiting for that cyborg from the future to have Cage eliminated. In the meanwhile, federal law mandates I keep watching. Stupid Obamacare.