Lookin' To Get Shout

Today's Movie Minute will help all of us who are lookin' to get out. Apparently this is done by gambling in Las Vegas. I always thought it was done by a door mechanism of some kind. Or a gate maybe. A chute...?

Love poker? Love exciting, tense gambling scenes filled with intrigue? Love sentences with question marks? Then you'll love not watching this ever. Here we have director Hal Ashby on the TV in a Hitchcockian cameo that is all cock but no hitch.

"That Bob Ross fucker makes me so angry. Happy trees, my ass!"

Jon Voight plays the world's most annoying man, shouting his way through every scene. After losing money to gangsters who were actually scarier in another turd biscuit, he flees to Vegas with his buddy and together they run into a giant-haired transsexual.

"Listen to me. It doesn't matter if you're Ann-Margret or Margret-Ann, just show me your penis."

Voight is sort of like Rain Man--except his affliction is not autism but extreme annoyingness. He should have gone full retard instead.

"Listen to me. Listen to me! You think I could score with that broad over there?! DO YOU THINK SHE'S A MAN"

Together with his buddies he comes up with a plan so crazy it just might fill out a movie. It does not. Dear God does it not.

"HA HA. LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME WILL YA?!? I GOTTA TAKE A CRAP!! COME ON WHERE'S THE HEAD WADDYA SAY!! GAAAH GAAAAH GAAAAH!!!"

In the touching final scene, the transsexual is reunited with Angelina Jolie who disowns her awful father and can you blame her, folks? Gaaah gaaah!!

"Mr and Mrs Smith, everybody!"

This movie has now been seen by me, Jon Voight, and four other people. Our ranks are growing! GAAAH