Friday, March 8, 2013

How Could Anyone Surpass His Courage And Greatness?

Life is hard. So let's retreat into fantasy with Hombre Mike, shall we?

Firstly, el primo, I must apologize to my Latino brothers and sisters for Hombre Mike's fluent use of "Spanishole": "Mon cas sasas! Grecas?! Maca gusto? Haleeeio, Haleeeio!!" Putting this through Google translate we get: "My sassy house! Richard Grieco?! You like caca? Hell no, Hell no!!"

Hombre Mike then "accidently" (nice that I used ironic quotes back then too) switches on the "sonic power" within his "pontently" dangerous hairdryer. I hope everyone at home learns how pontently a hairdryer can be, that if you aren't careful you'll trip the switch on the tiny uranium reactor deep inside and cause untold suffering through comedy--at least on the better models.

Like Snoopy, Snoopy has an active fantasy life that helps him cope with the Johnson family. Can't really blame him. Panel by panel we see the dog get deeper and deeper into this alter ego fugue state until at last he just fucking loses it.

He gets so angry indeed that he becomes afflicted with gigantism, his arms and hands, er, paws swelling to an alarming, poorly-drawn size. Also, he lets the expletives fly. Rightly does he wonder why "you" *#@!!#*@" don't quit!! Very good question! Why doesn't young Greg quit doing this idiotic comic (or is it a chilling message for the future?)?! In the last panel, he decides to take matters into his own hands... er... dick.

Maybe someone could use this pontently hairdryer on Congress right now. Amirite??

Next week: I don't *#@!!#@*#! quit, for some reason.

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