Thursday, November 29, 2012

Birthday Cards

Lo! Gifts rained down upon my craggy, ancient head for my day of birth. This lovely card came courtesy of my ten-year-old niece.

My bulbous head is covered in old people scabs and my face has lesions from a bout of leprosy (?). Though I still have my stubby brown teeth, I also have a backup pair kept in a glass of water in case of emergencies--like when I need to bite my fellow nursing home inmates for trying to take my fruit cup. I will be dead very soon. Ha ha.

But what's this? My nephews decided they didn't want to be outdone, so they also made cards celebrating the centenary of my birth!

I'm not exactly sure what this card means, but I'm guessing it means I'm older than dog poop. Great job, nephew!

Then my older nephew created this masterpiece of sentiment:

See, there's my decomposing corpse in a coffin, with rotting entrails and my face skin being eaten by ravenous rats. Man, the kid really has talent. I can actually smell the putrefaction! Thanks!
Mom also brightened my day with a card.
It was a great birthday.

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