Monday, October 15, 2012

Contents and Charaterizations

On to page II and III of the interminable throat-clearing that is GALAXY REVOLT's opening prefaces, prologues, maps, preludes, indices, library of congress number, copyright notices and charaterizations.

Apparently it was a lot more fun coming up with chapter titles than actually writing them. As a service to the reader, I will now summarize the action in each chapter that was never written:

Chapter 19... Jankas.... That's the one where we meet Jankas. We wonder why his name is Jankas. A portmanteau of Sanka and Jackass? Jankas shrugs. He's just as confused as everyone else.

Chapter 20.... Unfriendly Times.... Where TRIO tries to get a refund on a defective laser gun, but the store clerk is sort of snotty about the whole thing. He does refund the money, though.

Chapter 21.... Exucution saved!.... Where TRIO almost gets exucuted, but then they get saved!

Chapter 22.... The Revolt..... The readers demand more continuity and sense, and rise up, etc.

Chapter 23..... Surprises.... Husky finds out that Jankas is now in the novel. He is surprised.

Chapter 24.... Warm Welcomings.... Jankas pours a hot cup of Sanka for TRIO. They reminisce.

Chapter 25.... George Departs.... George departs.

Chapter 26.... Problem's Solved.... Some abstruse problem concerning trade federation agreements  and over-regulated tariffs throughout the galaxy is solved by compromise and bipartisan agreement. Husky then hurdles and kills two men. Ravishly.


Then we move on to the Charaterization, which is good since science-fiction novels only work if we care about the characters. First we meet George Cliod, a distant space relative of George Clinton.

And just like the funkadelic sounds of Parliament, his P-funk power will quickly be inlimitated.

Then we have Craig, who is adventurous and the leader of the bunch. Because... uh... he's the oldest? Meanwhile, Mark is there deduction man who seems to find everything! Which is great since there's a scene where someone loses their apartment keys and he uses deductive reasoning to find them. And then there is Husky-Husky. Husky-Husky is so heroic he had to be named twice. As we will soon find..................... Tune in next week for the next word in the sentence!!

All right, Bootsy, play us out with the GALAXY REVOLT jam.

One galaxy under a groove!
So musclar can't get 'round it
So husky you can't get under it
So inlimitated you can't get over it!
Jankas Jankas Jankas
This is a chance
This is a chance
Dance yo' way
Out of yo' laser gun battles
(Tell sugah)
Here's a chance to dance yo' way
out of yo' laser gun battles
Gonna be ravishin'!

Ready or not here come TRIO
Gettin' a story born on yo' asses!
We believe in
One galaxy under a groove,
gettin' down just for Solomacas Day!
(Where the two-season change)
Gettin' down just for the funk of it
(Good God)
'bout time I got down one time
One galaxy and we're on the move
Nothin' can stop us now
(Aye aye aye aye aye)

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