Reggie Is Crazy... Like A Fox

"Reggie?"

Reggie waved me off. He could see I was on the phone. It was a process server for Arapahoe County Courts.

"Sorry," I told the caller. "Reggie isn't here today."

After I hung up, Reggie came over. "Phew. Thanks. Just keep telling them I'm not around. Or I'm dead."

"This is really getting old, Reggie."

"My lawyer told me not to talk to those people."

"Those people, huh."

"Yeah. He wants me to--"

The phone rang. "Hello? No, he's not here. No, I don't know when he'll be in."

"Thanks, friend. I'm filing chapter seven bankruptcy. Soon this will--"

The phone rang. "Hello? No, he's dead. Yeah, he just died. Yeah, it's really sad. Bye."

"Was that them?"

"No, my mom. But you were saying about chapter seven...?"

"Yeah. But I can't declare bankruptcy until this whole process plays out. And then I'll--"

The phone rang. "Jesus..."

Reggie mouthed sorry and then ran off with his mop.

Later that day Reggie psssted at me. I went over to him.

"They still calling?"

"We don't know. We disconnected all our phone lines. Now customers will have to message us by semaphore. Or smoke, I guess."

"I promise you I'll make it up to you after this is over."

"So how did you get into this mess? Were you laying bad pipe, or what?"

"Just bills. But, hey, you think I could sell my paintings? Look at this one..."

"Look at the craftsmanship.It's off the chain, don't you think? Look at the muscles on the angel there. This is the kind of thing you should be painting--rather than doing yourself all the time."

"But I like doing myself."

"How much you think? Two hundred? Five hundred?"

"You have a congruent line problem, though."

"What?"

"I can't tell if your muscle-y angel is in the foreground or behind the castle..."

"Okay. How about this one?"

"I'll give you two bits for it. Two bits o' honey."

"Sold."

Moral: Exploiting people going through bankruptcy is easy!

So who wants to buy Reggie's crappy paintings? And don't give me that cricket sound! Or the cicada. Or the sad trombone....

Next Week: Mom and the Pearl Harbor survivor who tries to sex her up *shudder*