Reggie's PSA: Women Watch Your Fine Behinds At The Arts Festival

"Whew," Reggie said, coming in from the outside. I was in the breakroom reading whatever it is I'm reading.

"Hot out there?"

"Yeah, man! But I can't wear my cap because it got wet. Now my bald black head is out for all the world to see. But I don't like it. It makes me look nigger-ish."

"Licorice?"

"No, nigger-ish."

"Mm." I wet my lips. "Sounds delicious. Break me off some of that."

We then got to atalkin' about the upcoming Cherry Creek Arts Festival. Reggie declared that he refuses to hang his unicorns in such a "racist" festival.

"Why not hang them up in the coloreds-only section? And then you could cross over and be the Jackie Robinson of unicorns!"

"Naw," Reggie said. "But I'll be there. I'll be in the crowds, working my way with everyone packed in, with my hand on some lady's ass."

"What a poetic image. But can't they tell your hand is feeling up their ass?"

"No, no, just the back of my hand, like this, just nice and subtle sliding my hand squeezing past and getting a nice touch of--"

Carol popped in. "GET BACK TO WORK," she screeched.

"Yes'm," Reggie muttered. He went back to pushing a broom, rolling his eyes at me.

Later in the day, Reggie found me in the breakroom again and whispered to me.

"Why are we whispering?"

"Because I'm not supposed to talk to you. But dat white lady didn't say numphin 'bout no whispering."

"Mm," I whispered.

"I've been thinking it's karma. I used to be a supervisor in all my jobs before this one, and sometimes I wasn't always good to my employees. I was a good boss, but there were a few... And now it's payback time, I guess." Reggie shook his head and looked far away. "Yeah. But, man, I had a lot of good sex."

"Wait. I thought you were married back then."

Reggie's eyes went wide. He stood up. "This is America!" he said, marching out.

I was left bewildered until he popped back in a moment later to clarify.

"If President Clinton can get a blow job in the White House, I don't see why I can't get my own, right?"

"You make a good argument."

Great minds think alike.