Reggie's Black... I Mean, Back

Reggie was back from Atlanta after a three-week absence. He hugged me. "I just really miss him. My brother was my best friend."

"What happened?"

"Just dropped dead in front of everybody. They were back from church and all the family was there at his house for brunch. He was in the kitchen and he just..."

"I'm really sorry, Reggie."

"I'm okay, man. It's just hard, you know? He was my best friend. I won't get to hear him call me and tease me about the Broncos. He loved the Falcons. And his laugh... Everything..."

"Yeah."

"Then that bastard Chauncey was going around with a clipboard..."

"Who's Chauncey? The manservant?"

"No, no, my older brother. He's the one who got an eye shot out in Vietnam. He lives on a farm in Alabama with his fifth wife. He's an angry man. I think 'Nam messed up his mind because there was the whole family grieving and crying and here he was going around the house with a clipboard and taking inventory. Can you believe that? Everyone was crying so hard, but he was just going around like a banker or some stranger taking down what he wanted. He wanted the truck, the coin collection, the nice china.... I took him outside and said Look, Chauncey, you one-eyed bastard, you can't do that! People are grieving. And you know what he says to me? Well, haven't you seen a dead body before? That's our brother he's talking about! Our own flesh and blood! And he's going around the house like a banker seeing what he can take." Reggie shook his head. "'Nam did something to him. Something bad."

To lighten the mood, I told Reggie that one of the clerks at a different branch got shot and killed by her ex-husband.

"What? Oh, man. It's the end times. Just like Nostradamus said."

"Uh..."

"But it doesn't matter!" Reggie clapped his hands. "I'm going to deal with my grief. You watch. I am the Lord of the Living Lightning! I will be strong. I will be black. I mean, back. You watch...!"

An hour later Reggie came over with a magazine, his artificial teeth shining.

"I took a walk outside and I felt the sunlight on my face. It felt so good that I just know my brother is in heaven looking down at me and wanting me to live again, to live my life. Enough of this grieving! Everything is going to be all right. And, here, my friend wants me to do a painting. He wants me to do a painting of this, see..."

"On black velvet?"

Reggie flipped through the magazine. "But what do you think of this one? I can't decide..."

"Is that one of those toilet-cars I've heard so much about?"

"That's an Impala. Don't you know anything?"

"Mm. Maybe you should do something more 'arty.'"

"What do you mean? This is art, man!"

"Yes. But did you hear about the guy who got paid 1.9 million for his painting of a nude Bea Arthur? Here, it's on the interwebs. Here it is. Pretty great, huh?"

Reggie clutched at his heart. "Lizabeth, I'm coming to you now...!"

"Wrong show, idiot," I jeered.

We have fun, don't we?