Nic Cage plays a man who is dead and stuff, and he drives out of the supermax penitentiary of hell to save his daughter from being sacrificed during a Satanic ritual. As we all know, the best movies are those that can be summed up in one ridiculous sentence. Green light!
Along the way he meets a hot waitress who insists on force-feeding her customers.
"Do we have room for dessert this evening? Do ya, punk?!"
The two of them are like the Bonnie and Clyde of Tokyo Drift-ing, except Nic Cage manages to keep his face set on sullen throughout. At best, he's dyspeptic. What happened to all that "11" acting? Must be tired.
"Not the bees. Oh God, not the bees.... *Yawn*..."
Their car breaks down and his traveling companion offers her body to the car's fuel-injected turbo 3.5 liter Hemi duel carburetors. Thermal breakdown and viscosity ensues, oh yeahhh...
Meanwhile a man looks on while having sex with a towel. He wants everyone to see that he made some water!
"Come back! Mommy! Awww...."
They are pursued by one of Satan's minions--that's right, the man who gave the "gang's away" to Cop Rock. He has the credentials to prove it.
"Eyyyes of darkness, feelin' paaa-yaain, Livin' under the gunnn...! Yeah..."
Though Nic Cage is dead, he constantly gets killed throughout the movie. It's like porn for people who want to see Nic Cage die again and again. Here he is getting an axe cleaving his skull in two ha ha. It is AWESOME
Mission fulfilled, Nic Cage goes back to hell, only to return for Bad Lieutenant. And Ghost Rider. And 500 other terrible movies. Hell really needs to beef up their security.
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