Reunionited and It Feels So So-So

Can you believe it's the tenth anniversary of our thirtieth high school reunion? And that I think I'm funny? UNBELIEVABLE

The best part of the reunion was seeing so many dear faces. And talking about masturbation. Not in that order. But, seriously, I don't think Mike Perez likes me. Or knows who I am. Or why I am.

That better be Rob Stark's elbow poking into me.

After all the fun, I was thinking of my love of Tim McGraw (but not his music) when a knock came at my door. It was Tom G. and Mary R. No, too obvious. It was M. Ryan and Tom Griffith (better). Mary Ryan expressed a concern about popping over at my studio so uninvitedly. With a girlish blush she thought I might be busy treating my body like it was Casa Bonita. Instead I was doing something much, much worse: I was BLOGGIN'.

"Please dear God stop," Tom explained. "It's immoral. You'll grow hair on your palms with all that typing."

"Why can't you do something wholesome?" Mary opined. "Like start your own cookie business? Just don't cross your eyeline!"

"Well, you'll be happy to know I've decided to knock the habit of blogging every day, and instead I'm going to live a righteous life. That's right. I'm leaving my husband and going to fly the sexy skies!"

"I have D.T.'s sexy pug of a nose!"

Tom R. and Mary G. were not enchanted with my new life decision. We took a moment to enjoy cake forever, and then we mused on all the diverse paths through life we'd take before the sodomites came to disembowel our first-born child ha ha. 

"Remember piling on the lawn outside that dear ol' school of ours?" I expostulated. "How proud and quivering we were to begin our lives, despite the fact that high school was objectively the best years of our lives."

Tom put a hand on my shoulder. "Please stop talking."

Flag not as prominent as it should be. 

(At least Craig Chapman was ecstatic to be there!)

"I'm exhausted," Mary said. "And I'm starving to death."

"But wait, we haven't talked about the thirtieth reunion. Look, I have a picture! Me and Andy as Mafia dons with our crime family arranged around us, for some reason."

(Satan not included.)

Mary put Tom's hand on my shoulder. "Please never speak again."

With that, Tom and Mary climbed into their double-decker bus (which was totally Frank Herzog's idea) and left our planet Wednesday BYE!

All in all, it was a very satisfying reunion.

(Man having love affair with cookie. And it was a movie!!)