Money n' Planes n' Tarts

Have you ever wanted to watch an Andy Sidaris movie but without all that boobage in it? Have you ever wanted to watch people play Texas Hold'em over international waters? Have you ever wanted to remember Texas Hold'em? Have you ever Joey Lawrence?? 

The answer to all of these questions is: death take me now.

I mean, MONEY PLANE. 

"I watched MONEY PLANE with Mickey Rourke and

Nick Nolte. Then I walked into a door. Money Plane."

People have (not) asked: Greg, what are you going to do in retirement? One word: Money Plane.

Two words: gambling.

Three words: Joey Lawrence.

Let's face it, this movie has it all: Money. Planes. Kramer. I mean, Frasier. Man buns. Planes. Money. Michael Richards. I mean, Denise Richards. A money plane about nothing. Airline peanuts. Vegetable lasagna. Have you ever noticed that? Have you ever noticed this? 

Money Plane.

"You wanna watch a gorilla fuck a pistachio? Money plane."

MONEY PLANE stars a man who is surpassingly sexy and doesn't have a creepy smile at all.

(Mmmmmm. Be back in a sec, everyone.)

Ahhh. Okay. Where were we? Right. Money plane. 

The Money Plane has money on its plane. Billions in crytpocurrency, in fact. Somewhere in the back. Our villain, Darius Emmanuel Medusa Grouch, wants that cryptomoney because he's a cryptofascist presumably. 

"Ted Danson won't return my calls. Money plane."

On the money plane are the world's most evil criminals, who crave a little poker action played with chips bought at Walgreen's. Because who isn't playing Texas Hold'em these days??

"Okay, dealer is wild. Ha ha, just kidding. Money plane."

Have I mentioned I did Joey Lawrence? Retirement is awesome!

"Welcome to the money plane/hair restoration clinic, everyone.

Now sit back, relax, and watch me act like I don't have plugs."

The Edge and his ragtag team of ragpickers must get on the Money Plane and take it over so they can steal millions of dollars because this is a heist you son-of-a-bitch, I'm in. The Edge goes through a difficult training session with his copilot.

"My friends call me Bitey."

Our hero must navigate empty air with clouds in it. Money plane.

"Okay, okay, just bank hard right. Whew! Just missed that fluffy cloud!"

In the end, the good guys overcome Frasier and Niles with explosions and gunfightin' in the season finale of Money Plane. Then we all have to say hello to Frasier's little friend (Eddy).

"Sam? Diane?! I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!! (Money plane.)"

Apparently MONEY PLANE is doing so well that several sequels are planned, making a Money Plane cinematic universe. Here are some of the upcoming movies:

Murder Plane, She Wrote

Monkey Plane: The Poopening

Michael Porter Junior Plane: Swish

Sarah, Plane and Money

Monet Plane--Monet is Alive, and He's Flying a Plane!

Money Place: The Wells Fargo Story, Plus Free Checking

Muggle Plane and the Half-Blood Wrestler

Money plane.