Friday, September 18, 2015


This just in: Reggie has been terminated with extreme racial prejudice. For what? Apparently he was sexing up some female coworker and she somehow stayed dry.


Meanwhile Jorel was printing up sheet after sheet of Sudoku puzzles, "for the weekend." For the budget-minded thrill seeker, there's nothing better than printing off Sudokus from the internet at work because who can possibly afford the 69 cent at the local Rite Aid for a book of puzzles?!? It's the economy, stupid!

"I guess Reggie has lots of time for Sudoku now, too," I said, cleverly.


"He was just fired. I guess he let them see him sweat."

"Oh," Jorel exhaled, deeply apathetic. Then, smiling, she gathered her Sudokus and went into the break room.

Carol came limping over with a cane. The cane was floral, like a muu-muu.

"Did you hear about Reggie?" I said, eagerly retailing my piece of gossip.

Carol didn't seem to hear me. She was leaning on the cane. At first I thought the cane was a comedy prop. But the cane was actually necessary--the jaunty flowers not so much.

"My MS," Carol said. "I hate this fucking disease, Greg."

"Yeah. Well..." Doesn't anyone care about Reggie anymore? ANYONE?

"My leg just hurts. And I have to use this fucking thing."

I stared at the cane. As it was not Reggie-related, I was having a hard time processing. Finally, I said, "Well, maybe you can also use it to hit Jorel about the face and head...?"

I told her about the Sudoku madness.

"What! Why didn't you tell me?? She's not supposed to be using library property and our ink and our electricity and oxygen to play fucking games!"

Carol shook her cane. If only Jorel was on her front yard.

But I calmed Carol down. What could be done? Jorel was planning on retiring in a year, roughly. Then she'd finally have the time freed up to try the "Medium"s.

"Do you know she hasn't scheduled her action plan meeting with me? She's the only one on the staff," Carol said. "Can you believe that?"

"She doesn't care. She just doesn't care. Have you seen the look on her face as she does a Sudoku? It's pure bliss. A state of nirvana. It almost makes a person jealous..."

On my way home from work I bought a book of Sudokus. It was on sale for 49 cent. After my microwave dinner, I sat down with a satisfied grunt and opened the page to the first Sudoku.

"Fuck this is boring."

So much for nirvana.

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