Monday, January 26, 2015

GALAXY WARS!!! Coming Soon To Nowhere Near You!!!

Here's my graphic novel, back when graphic novel meant Lady Chatterley's Lover or something by Larry Flynt.

Ah, October 22, 1977. Those were the days! Day, I mean. Yeah, such a great, great day that I remember so well.

Sitting in my basement bedroom. Tongue slightly protruding. Crayon in hand. Panting over 'splosions and men wearing silly hats.

(Yeah? And I suppose you were doing something better that day?!? Charity work, walking in the park, enjoying loved ones, etc etc etc. Okay, never mind.)

Let us zoom in so we can catch the action now...

Our adventure is written by Greg J. J.--apparently related to that dynamite fellow who was so popular with the kids back then. On the right we see the first appearance of Gala-xaster (called WRL-10 in this early incarnation), and his sidekick, WD-40. WRL-10 is on the evil side of things, because he has a brain of his own. Isn't that always the way?

The title alone should bring 'em in: GALAXY... wait for it... WARS. Hell yeah! No piddling star crap in this story. Whole GALAXIES be gettin' it on!

Then we get right to the action. After some foofaraw on the sidebar about planetnoids (a type of space adenoid) being taken over and WRL-10 poignantly soliloquizing about why can't he victor over the star-men? we smash cut to a feller in a poofy hat giving very complex directions on what the star-men need to do.

"Get out... let me finish... of our aircraft."

*star-men furiously writing down, lips murmuring*

"...And free the prisoners. Okay, any questions? Great! I've got a haberdashery to get to!"

(Meanwhile a menacing blob hovers nearby demanding that everything get colored with colored pencils. An odd galaxy!)

Then the ratcheting action really RATCHETS. RATCHETS TO THE MAX!!!!

The star-men are very helpful to each other. It's the Star-Man Code: Always Let A Star Brother Know When They Need To WATCH OUT!!!! SQUAAWWWWKK!!

On this planetnoid we see they have elevated trains to get robot commuters to their cubicle jobs. Thank God the Star-Men (see, they have stars on their planes) are there to blow it all up and now they get a day off from work!!! Who says Hollywood doesn't do happy endings anymore??

Next Week: The happy endings continue as WRL-10 gets some lube, if you catch my meaning.

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