Today's RUTGER explores the drug culture in a singular character named... wait for it... "Tripper." (How'd I come up with this stuff?)
"Tripper" (if that is his real name) wears shades, a black shirt with a skull, a neckerchief and a headband. He looks like he should audition for Flashdance: The Tripperering. And he lives in dorm room number 573 (for all you trivia buffs out there).
In an oh-so-typical case of drugginess, Tripper goes from mellow yellow to ragtime red. His doors of perception are, like, opened. How long before he gazes upon the bedspread and wonders, "What if this is reality?"
Then again, maybe Tripper isn't a druggie at all but a follower of David Icke. That's right--he sees the truth at last: Rutger is one of the gross toad people!
Obama is one of them too! And the Queen! Moon nazis! TELL THE WORLD!!!
Next Week: Rutger stubs his toe