Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Run Logy Run

This week's Movie Minute is a cautionary tale about the perils of venturing forth from the shopping mall and getting some fresh air.

LOGAN'S RUN is not about diarrhea, unfortunately, but about a man facing the indignity and horror of turning thirty years old. I'm sure many of us can remember leaving our twenties and embarking on thirtysomething where we suddenly found ourselves talking about mortgages, CBS shows, and sudden boners. 

LOGAN'S RUN is a cross between PREFONTAINE, Plato's cave allegory, and a Pink Floyd laserium show. Michael York takes the Boy Scout oath to never appear in such a terrible movie ever again. He breaks that oath. With extreme prejudice.

He then meets two groovy chicks at a hair-feathering salon, and together they solve crime for a guy named "Charlie." It seems they might have a big ABC hit on their hands until....

The two chicks fight over whose hair has the most Pantene in it. Not much has changed in the 2270s, eh, women libbers?

As things are getting excessively sexy, Logan and his bare-thighed call girl escape the city of miniature buildings and run into Alec Guinness, aka "Beardo," who demonstrates how dirty and disheveled one becomes away from a Cinnabon.

In a series of breathtaking matte paintings, we learn that in the future those fatcats in Washington are still locked in partisan bickering and tangled under masses of vegetation. What's it going to take to get things turned around in this country......?

A singing robot! Finally, the solution this great nation needs!

So what have we learned? Escape is futile. But robots are FOREVER.

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