Monday, October 1, 2012

Big Budget Prose

Have you heard? Being a dork is all the rage these days!

So in an effort to join the craze, and avoid talking about politics, I recommend you fish those old 3-D glasses out of the septic tank and use them to read this latest installment of GALAXY REVOLT. Just make sure they are dark enough so you can't actually read through them.

The prose is COMING AT YA!!! Duck!

"[...] Javas standed up and forced him to put his hands on his head, very carefully, knowing that Husky is a little over size for him."

Uh, maybe we need 4-D glasses to fathom the baffling syntactic mess of this sentence. You'll notice I cut off the first part as the entire string of word-units is too much for the human mind to comprehend. So did Javas force Husky to put his hands on carefully? Or was Javas being careful about requesting Husky put his hands on his head? And can we please stop focusing on Husky's plus size? PLEASE?

On the other hand, Husky does have some musclar arms. Craig is totally checking him out! You could say he has the Space Eye for the Husky Guy. (Isn't that a show on a channel somewhere?)

Hansen thrusts his hand into Craig's (no doubt musclar) chest. Craig doesn't reply, but shouldn't he say, "Who are you?" or "What happened to Javas?" or "Why is your name Hansen, and isn't it a little late to give you, random character, a name??"

Mark compassionately doesn't want his arguer to get killed (they haven't finished Hegelian dialectical theory yet), so he runs over to Craig's side. In the space of two pages we now have FIVE characters who are only distinguishable by how new their guns are and how musclar they are. No wonder the galaxy revolted. Sheesh.

(throws down 3-D glass in disgust)

I still say this is better than Avatar*.

* The worst movie of all time.

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