Monday, September 10, 2012

May the Farced Epistol to the Highbruws Be With You

As we join our prologue of GALAXY REVOLT still in progress for no discernible reason:

Can a discussion of books go for long and hard without at least a mention of Fifty Shades of Grey? Yes, it can--but not THIS one. The attentive and breathless reader will notice that "Javas" and "Morjia" did just what a attacker said, so willing. Mm. Sounds kinda extra-galactically kinky, eh? I mean, what made Javas and Morjia so submissive and willing, ehn? Space handcuffs? Whips made from Tauntaun hair? Anal beads? Anal bees? Anal bees that when they bark they shoot dogs out their anuses...??

Tut. No matter. Frankly, this tantalizing hint of eroticism is just what our space epic needs. Sure, there's our hero, Husky, who easily and painlessly breaks windows with his fist; and who stands on his knees to fire vigorously at a few buildings. Hell, who hasn't wanted to fire lasers at a few buildings down the way?

All well and good. But along with talk of husky bears on their knees firing vigorously, and holes in walls, we have the anti-TRIO who clearly have some sort of BDSM thing going on. It's enough to make any attacker stutter "You... you" from the lubricious searing sexuality of it all.

As for Husky, being a square-jawed, plus-sized hero of family values, he had no idea what was going on. The guy was more into cosplay anyway.

Commence masturbating!

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