Friday, September 28, 2012

Finally Learn How To Say D-O-G

When animals started to evolve, the first man, Adam, appeared and started to name them as they came out of the fossil record (or so is my understanding from the Biology class I flunked).

As 'twas in heaven, so 'twas in JOHNSON FOLLIES. Amen.

And don't you think Adam and Eve also squabbled over naming their flora and fauna? Come on!

"Ooh! I see a one. We'll call that snake!"

"Naw," says Adam, the world's Original Cool Guy*. "Let's call it Psaggeragawometoi."

Eve gives Adam a withering look, the first ever in the history of the world. "That's a terrible name."

"Yeah? Well, you're a terrible name."

"Oh, yeah? How do you like them apples??"

So the incoherent debate rages, echoing through the ages and coming down to our present idiotic comic. And what better way to avoid writing pesky dialogue when you can imply it with quivering tongues and black mouth-smoke??

But where does it get us, people? Just like the Biblical story of the Canaanites and the battle of Jephthphsia, we all end up sprawled across each other for no reason. Amen.

So that's all I'm saying. Let's not end up sprawled on top of each other with our teeth busted out for no reason. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

No comments:

Post a Comment