Battle Beyond the Rejection

My weekend was incredibly full. I picked up dog poop and saw Battle Beyond the Stars. I leave it to you as to which was more entertaining. (Hint: POOP.)

The movie is about a Walton who leaves sodomy in the corn fields to fly around the galaxy with a scrotum attached to fallopian tubes--the perfect marriage of aerodynamics and bi-curious erotica:

He proceeds to rip off the ripped-off The Magnificent Seven by rounding up various blockheads and ne'er-do-wells, some who poignantly struggle to breathe through their rubber masks:

The guest appearance of Devo, however, was a nice surprise. And it was especially nice when they didn't sing "Puppet Boy."

You might wonder what all this has to do with today's rejection?

Simple: how is it that my story "Houdini" was rejected while "Battle" was given the green light?? The universe is indeed run by a cruel master played by John Saxon. To rectify this outrage, I am in fact mailing my rejection slip to Roger Corman, John Boy, and all the other puppets. My gesture might be futile, but if it goes a little way to redress injustice then blah blah etc etc etc.

Also, FUCK YOU, Ben Nyberg, if that is your real name.