Pearl Harbor Day, 1978--Also Known in No Circles as Johnson Follies Day

Hard evidence of what I was doing on December 7, 1978. My very first "humor" cartoon, called THE JOHNSON FOLLIES. Lacking Marilu Henner's spooky recall ability, I must resort to shoring up my ruins and reconstructing the fragments of my life through inept and loathsomely awful cartoons. And what better place to share them than on the information superhighway?

Here it is at full size so we may all revel in its dreary fecal idiocy.
"GAD!! What a mess!" Forget that "Call me Ishmael" crap.

Some questions: Why is Gregg in a crowded airport? Why is the airport crowded with ghouls and Ensor-esque grotesques? From whence is he arriving? Disneyland? Why is a thirteen year old boy flying by himself? What's in the suitcases? (Nothing, judging by how tenuously they are connected to his blobby fingers.) Is that my mom running in a screaming panic in the background of Panel 5? (Maybe running to call social services?) Why is Marc about to attack Gregg with a windmill punch in Panel 7? Or is it a haymaker?

Some observations: Gregg narrowly escapes being abducted by a shirtless body builder/child rapist in Panel 3. "I'm finnally outa that MADHOUSE!" This is my mom speaking, so to speak. She often referred to things being a "madhouse." (She now heavily favors calling everything a "nightmare." E.g. "Oh, this ice cream cone is a NIGHTMARE.") I morph into Vishnu in Panel 6, my six eyes suddenly sprouting with enlightenment and unfolding across my face like a poker hand held by Bat Masterson. (Huh?) And then the rich reward at the end, the punch line: "What did I ever do to deserve this?" I'll let the reader ponder such a question.

(Feeling the pressure from fans, I later colorized the cartoon with crayolas. The suitcase on the left is red, while the other is green. Christmas symbology? Marc's shirt is striped with suitcase-red, while Cris's sweater is diarrhea brown and also striped red. Gregg wears a periwinkle ensemble with a bit of yet-more-goddamn red flair on his chest. Where is that German bitch to decide if he's in or out?)

The best part of all is the petite, almost shy number 1 in the far right corner. That's right, there's LOTS more crap to come. GAD!!