Greggu No Like Grogu

Today's Movie Minute is the new Star Wars movie called Madaboobian and Grodie, and after 238 ads, 14 previews, 12 popcorns, 1 bowel movement, 2 mid-movie naps, and 9 collectible action figures, I have concluded that Martin Scorcese is a very good actor. My hat is off to you, sir!

The movie begins with a super hot female by the name of Sygoney Sweeney ordering a double latte and wondering when she'll be allowed to leave already.

"I expect this kind of service at Denny's, but not here."

Pizza the Hutt's kid quits his job at Domino's and orders Little Caesar's to get revenge against his Papa John.

"My bowel movement at the theater looked 

hauntingly like this. And, yes, I used the Force to get it out!"

Then Java was slain by an elf. Can't remember if that was a twenty-sided die that was rolled in this scene?

"That's not how the Force works, jerk! 

Just push hard when you need to go. Sheesh."

I slept lightly during some scenes, but I awoke to have Freud slap me directly in the face. YUM

"Nooo! Whitesnake! Bite me all you want, but don't play your music!"

Some other stuff happened. Um. Yeah, these little guys. And the elf. One ring to unite them all? Wait, no. These are the monsters that exploded out of Signourney's boobies ha ha.

"Wait. THESE are my groupies??"

Lizard people show up, and we learn about freemasons and such.

"The Trilateral Commisision is running the country!"

A monkey bathes Jay Leno with a clown, I'm pretty sure. What movie did I watch?

"I used to be a taxi driver. Get it? GET IT"

In the end, the guys from SPINAL TAP 2 play Motley Crue's Cantina Theme on their keytars, and the audience dutifully filed out having been rigorously entertained to the fullest extent of the law.

Best hair in the galaxy!

I give it ninety stars! To the moon! Kill me!