Pudge with a Side of Dark

Have you ever been embarrassed by something your dad made or did or was? Welcome to Empire of the Dark, where your dad does stuff with his long balls... in the dark.

"Take that, fiat currency!!"

In today's Movie Minute, we are treated to the artistic stylings of a genius, nay, an idiot named Steve Barkett, who comes to us in dreams, and with a dreamier mustache.

"And, lo, how they danced... Hundreds of years before recorded time..."

Here is our action hero, straining his thick pudding in bed. (Due to local, state, and Federal laws, sheets are required to cover fifty percent of pudge.)

"Stupid government laws! When will my beautiful self be set free??"

He learns that demons are afoot, er, ahoof. Something must be done! But first, a sexy pose:

Mustache For Rent

And then time for grocery shopping. That pudge won't pudge itself!

"My baloney has a first name... It's O-S- uh... O-S... T? 

Aw screw it, give me the whole rack!"

Stuff happens. And then... The demons aka Fiat Currency come to get him!

"All right, who ate all my Doritos?"

Our hero gathers a ragtag team of tags and rags in order to fight the D&D figurines properly and get us back to the gold standard ha ha.

"Don't look at 'em, Jerry. Those are the people in 

the theater watching this. Idiots!"

With his son they martinize their +5 broadswords and hope to god they won't be slain by an elf.

"I'm sorry I didn't clean my room, Dad. Haven't I been punished enough?

 Please don't make me act in your movie or read your novel!"

In the end, they overcome the demons with some lucky rolls and public banking.

"Who wants free checking?!"

And some awesome "special" "effects."

"I can't stand the heat, get me out of the kitchen!!"

 (Probably my lamest joke ever?)

After all the weird science, Steve Barkett is reunited with his true love: himself.

"Well? Will this get me the part on a Neil Breen movie?"

Maybe everyone should spend their time with an infinitely more tart movie than this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_sm3qXJlHU&t=279s