Library Coping Skills

I'm frequently not asked by people, "What, pray, does it take to work at the library?" And, "Why is your hand in my soda?" By way of explanation, the full-color photo below tells the story: you are  taken to a detention center where you are forced to wear a festive hat and be at least as tall as Peter Garrett. Then you hold up some book you've pretended you've read--and voila, a new worker is ready for the hive!

"Have I been chemically castrated yet??"

Then begins the slow mental decline. Todd, for instance, spends hours coloring pointlessly obscure cartoons. Does a customer need help? Uh, do you mind? I'm coloring WAKE-O's, part of a baffling cartoon! 

The dripping blood is a nice touch.

Everything seemed to be under/out of control. I went over to Jonah. Hunched at his desk with SEE CLERK AT NEXT STATION taped to his station, he was busy with his architectural rendering of a... salad shop? As far as I could tell from his crude sketch, they repair salads there. I nodded, and after careful consideration, gave it partial credit.

"It's Le Corbusier meets Waffle House!" 

I continued my patronizing stroll through the library. Ah, what's this? There's actually a book on our shelves! I seized it, intending to have it weeded immediately--but then I saw this was something we really should keep. Besides, it's like having three books! Sizzling ones!

"Thank God it's uncensored. I'm sick of

the damn government taking out all my sounding scenes!"

I opened the tome. Inside was an inscription. How nice when customers tell us how much they enjoy our literature. Or at least how much they, uh, plan to enjoy it.....?

"I have got to meet this Robert fellow.
He's a hottie! (It says so right in the book!)"

Finally, I finished my tour in the workroom. Here Justron was busy doing his own drawing, because, hey, everyone else was! Poor fool. And what a drawing. The guy's only been at the library for a few months and looks like we already have a freshly broken brain. But at least his toy boat has a really cool... uh, thing on it.

"I'm not finished! Don't take it! Aww...." 

Okay, that's it. I climbed into my work basket and sat between Bertrand Russell and my feline fishin' buddy. Is that really how I'm going to end this post?

Yep.