Superman Versus Kramer Versus Spy

Today's Movie Minute is the Richard Pryor comedy SUPERMAN III. Not surprisingly, Superman is much funnier than Richard Pryor.

Superman III takes place during an idyllic time when we all wore huge, huge glasses.

As was the style at the time.

Richard Pryor is a computer genius. He's such a genius that he can change the weather with a few DOS commands and redirect all the world's oil tankers to a single spot in the ocean. Did he learn his skills from Kurt Russell??

It turns out that Superman doesn't like the coloreds. But can you blame him? Krypton is a whites only planet. Here he is grabbing a random black guy and flying him to the nearest landfill.

Superman then tries some autoerotic asphyxiation. David Carradine style!

Next on his kinky thrill ride, Superman gets exposed to kryptonite and turns into Charles Bukowski. See? Five o'clock shadow = evil.

Bored to death with the movie, Superman decides to do all the touristy things in NYC.

"The last time I was in a woman was when I... Wait."

Meanwhile, Richard Pryor makes a computer so vast and powerful that it grabs random women and makes them into robots. Because why look at porn on your computer when you can... uh... use your computer to make women be, uh, sex robots...? (Dear God, is this movie really happening?)

The movie leads to a thrilling climax where Clark Kent must face off against Superman. Unfortunately, both are played by the same actor. And neither have the nuance of Keanu Reeves.

Clark Kent as the Iron Yuppie puts Superman into a full nelson.

"This is soo fake...! Accch!"

It appears that Clark Kent is taking care of something we knew all along: Superman is a dick.

Here's hoping the new Superman is as good as this one!