Game Of Thrones Sucks

Why bother with a totally engrossing story with characters you care about deeply when you can lose yourself in the banal idiocy of GALAXY REVOLT? (I should write blurbs!)

Our heroes are lost on a foggy planet when all of a sudden they are hit by a pumus gun! NOOOO!!! Not the pumus gun! FUUUUUCCCCKKK!!

Wait... What's a pumus gun?

Ah, I'm sure it'll all get sorted. If Game of Thrones can use made-up words like Dragon and Twenty-sided Die, then why can't this stupid book?

So after getting hit with the pumus gun, our heroes are suspended in a bubble. Rex is right to be startled by his calculation of the group's collective weight. Clearly, someone in the group has not been cutting back on the space carbs.

 

Originally, I thought my younger self was being typically moronic with the weight calculation. Five TONS?!?!? Even granting Rex's iron metal parts weighing one and a half tons, that's an absurd number.... until it struck me that this is taking place on ANOTHER planet. Of course! So the planetary gravity would make everyone, uh, fatter. My kid self is brilliant!

(Let's politely ignore the fact that they are actually suspended in midair and yet weigh five tons. God, it all hurts so much...)

Next Week: Caught In A Big Blue Bubble! And Sammy Davis Jr makes an appearance!!